Crying Indians Laughing Indians: Vikster Explains Himself

This double page spread in the Bangkok Post Newspaper's Guru Magazine is the author's response to the controversy caused by his satire published a week prior.

My grandfather’s coffin went bump-bump-bump as I spoke with Voranai. One hour to my dearly departed grandfather’s cremation, sitting on the coffin-bus and my editor was on the phone in frenzy. “Have you been checking your mails?” he asked.

"No" I replied, "I'm on my way to... a... um... a meeting."

“I’ve been getting calls all morning. It’s pretty serious.” He told me of angry women crying on the phone. Of treats to shut down the Bangkok Post, reporting them to the Indian Embassy, and claims that the police were on their way to his office. A police report? “On what charge?” he asked.

“For accusing Indians of being hairy” one of his callers replied.

My first article was published in this magazine last week. The Punjabi Playa’s Guide was a cheeky advice column full of misinformation and exaggeration about Bangkok’s Punjabi community to which I belong.

After the funeral rites I went home, washed my hair and checked my email. 23 messages and one blog post complimenting me vs. three angry emails that Friday evening. I called the editor back, “what’s the fuss?” I asked him. At the time of this writing, I have received around 35 messages complimenting my work and six complaints. I hear that a very angry group is writing to the Bangkok Post.

Voranai told me that I had some explaining to do. I had until Monday to write a new article telling his angry Indian readers exactly what mischief I’m up to.

I’m not a diplomat or a philosopher. I don’t have a PhD in Thai-Indian culture and I don’t speak on behalf of all Thai-Indians. I’m not even being paid. I hope other Indians express themselves publicly, and I’m sure there’s more to talk about than Bollywood and Indian restaurants. I welcome your comments, good or bad. I provide a space for all your opinions. Debate is good.

I’ll explain myself, but be gentle. I’m just here to tell a few jokes to entertain my generation. This is a lifestyle and entertainment magazine. Feedback shows that the majority loves my comedy and wants me to continue.

Here’s an email from somebody who disagrees: [Brackets added by me]

Subject: how dare u insult we indians
raise your voice against this article !!!!

well mr […] the one who thinks he knows indians very well & the siamese wanna be .... but sounds to be like a jerk for the rest of the world. we know you work for the siamese but that doesnt mean you should be butterin them up by insulting indians...!!! every indian men,women,kids & old ppl are against your article in guru magazine page 12 about punjabi's ...what r u if not namthari's [Namdharis are a type of Sikh] or hindu but hey dude you still fall in the hairy categories so watch out before you speak !!!

the overall page plus the words used are soooooooo rude, full of nonsense & bullshit. you should have been slapped non-stop. you mentioned about being hairy wellll you are one of them.... we do know that we hate being hairy but that doesnt mean that we are ashamed about being an indian...& dude about waxing this is 20th century they have something called laser which not only indians are allowed but every race ... i've seen so many siamese & the gora's [westerners] doin it ... so next time before you published such a shit article do find out more !!!

about the zee tv i think u must be complaining about your mom & grandmom who has nothin else to do besides being a potato couch watching childish zee tv soap thats y such a childish son is born from her soaps womb !!! and hey btw the zee tv has more sense than thai tv .... with all those nonsense screamings & servants role !!!

and about the long hair with the vatika oil i think your sister is the only indians using it in thailand or your mom still forced your dad to put it on his hair.....HELLLLL00000 it wud me more appropriate if you could just say baby johnson oil !!!!!

about the arrange marriage may b ur m0m just fix urs like what last weeek..??? and hey if sum1 has da $$$$$$ to study abroad wats up ur ass???? y are siamese studyin abroad ....????

and hey facebook & hi5 are used worldwide not only in indians in bkk ....does that means all the siamese & americans r also jerks....EVEN THE SIAMESE HAVE 1 OF THHOSE PROFILE & HEY JERK STOP SURFING ONLY SHAADI.COM [an Indian matrimonial service] WEBSITES FINDIN A NICE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW FROM INDIA 4 UR MOM !!!

Hands up those of you who believed I was writing a genuine advice column last week. Nobody, Indains, Thais or “Goras” took that article seriously. The positive comments were from Bangkok-Indians, mostly female, who joined me in laughing at ourselves.

A human-rights activist and my friend, Pooja, had the following to say about me in her blog (read the complete story on http://beyond-skin.blogspot.com/ ):

His first article […] touches upon [our] idiosyncrasies and says “yes, we are a little pathetic, but we know how to laugh at ourselves because we’ve come a long way since spinach farming.” […] he addresses the stereotypes with humour and mischief rather than perpetuating this idea that Indians only have the authority to discuss yoga and bhangra. I hope other Indians in Bangkok are able to also pick up on [his] thinly-veiled challenge: is this who we want to be, or can we redefine ourselves?

The ability to laugh at ourselves represents a maturity among the majority of readers who contacted me. It’s a sign that we’re not ashamed. Let the world see us for who we really are: beautiful and tacky.

I’ve been accused of not being a “proud” Punjabi. Pride doesn’t mean sweeping our embarrassing quirks under the carpet. I love my culture: the wonderful parts and the silly. By identifying the silly parts we can start to change them (if, at all they need changing). It also makes us more human. Why lie that we’re perfect? We’re human, we have flaws. Be proud of the flaws!

There was a time when we had to hide. Unlike the Chinese, we rarely married Thais. Our distinctive look set us apart so we remained in our small incestuous communities. We were avoided and misunderstood by the public and we did precious little to change their views. This has resulted in some deep insecurities. Some of us walk around with a chip on our shoulders, ready to pounce on anybody who might be laughing. We developed a fierce conservatism.

The conservative ideology is based on fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of change. Fear of being individuals in public because we’re so used to being shot down and laughed at. Sisters and brothers, times have changed!

We’re approaching a cultural renaissance. People don’t necessarily hate us, sometimes they’re just curious. In most cases they’re so busy in their own lives they don’t care either way. Sure they have stereotypes about us, but we have stereotypes about them too, don’t we? Should we pretend those stereotypes don’t exist? Perhaps the stereotypes mean we should look in the mirror and see if there’s somebody in there that could use some improvement.

My dear grandfather worked hard to build a good life here, as did many of yours’. Did they mean for us to remain insular? Laughing at ourselves and sharing the joke with Thais and Expats doesn’t mean we’re becoming liberal.
The liberal mentality is equally as unstable as conservatism. It suggests that we don’t care about the past; it hints that we're letting go of our values, and that maybe we’re being too influenced by “the others”.

That’s not what modern Thai-Indians are about. If anything we’re re-inventing ourselves. We're creating a new definition of what it means to be Thai-Indian. We love our Sikhism, our Hinduism and we’re taking it forward. We’re integrating with other cultures and learning form them, and they’re learning from us. The term for this isn’t “liberal”, it’s “progressive”.

One of the most enjoyable ways to teach others is through humor. Admit it; we laugh at our own Sardar (and Gujju and Sindhi) jokes. Are Sardars really as silly as the jokes make them seem? Are all Sindhis stingy? No. We find the jokes funny because there's something in the stereotypes we relate to.
There's nothing wrong with Vatika Oil even though most Bangkok Indians don’t use it (I use Johnson’s Baby Oil as my angry reader suggests). All of us know somebody's somebody who's addicted to Zee TV. It's funny; it’s a quirk of ours. We're mature enough to laugh at our quirks. Our forward messages, magazines and movies have material far worse than my Punjabi Playa’s Guide. V.S. Naipaul and Kushwant Singh have been bashing their own tribe for years. Russell Peters and co. laugh at their fellow Indians for a living, and everybody (Indians and non-Indians) loves their comedy. I’m peanuts compared to them!

Our communities have grown and diversified. Diversification brings an acceptance of who are and identification of areas needing improvement. I’m a symptom of change. My views aren’t unique. Shoot me down and you’ll have ten more Viksters’ pop up. Join me and we can grow together.

Indians are in all levels of Thai society. Sure we dominate textiles, real estate and jewelry but we’ve also moved far beyond that. We’ve become entertainers, thinkers, social workers and scientists. We’re doctors and lawyers and business executives. There’s nothing tacky about that.

We’re far more comfortable than we’ve ever been!

Sit back, grab some tea and pakoras and laugh with me.

Next week I go back to telling jokes.

As published in Guru Magazine, 14th September 2007.