Golden Honeypot Ticket

Published in Bed Sheets Magazine. April 2008.

Somebody fax your aunty koz there's no way she has Internet. She's still ratting off the same script that that a good man is decent, polite and gentlemanly. Why is it then, that the nice guys end up with Mrs. Palmer while the women flock to the jerks? Jerks who aren't ripped, don't own a private jet and don't have a particularly magnificent jade stalk.

Those attributes certainly help but what of the balding potbellied insurance salesman in the corner surrounded by chiquitas? Listen up! He's not flattering them, hanging on their every word or even buying the drinks. Chances are he's completely up himself, telling all the jokes and teasing the hell out of his harem. The girls are spellbound and whispering to each other in telepathic girl-lingo saying he's my man, no he's mine, back off bitch.

Likely our potbellied pal will take his pick and they'll be ready for horizontal tango without him having to preform any lip service to get the girls' juices flowing. Worse still, they won't expect him to call the next day or even remember their names—and they certainly won't hate him when they see him next week in the same corner surrounded by a different set of chiquitas.

What's he got that the average Joe hasn't? He gets it that the male life force is aggressive. For men, spreading their seed is instinctive. Conquest and dominance are part of the male programming and for very good reason: the strongest and smartest among them pass on the best genes to future generations.

Mr. Potbelly has short-circuited the system: he doesn't have the best genes, he's just faking it by acting dominant and clever.

Talk to a woman and she'll tell you how she hates jerks like that, but watch as she melts for them. The female yin qualities are receptive and submissive. Deep down, a woman doesn't want to conquer the world. She may act bitchy but that's just a test. Her bitchiness is a filtration system to eliminate the weak and dumb. In a flirtatious situation, every comeback from a woman is a test to see if the potential mate is man enough to keep her in line. The jerks never let the women dominate the conversation, they keep the girls in line by teasing them and exuding confidence.

These are the men with the golden ticket to the girls' honeypots.