Bestselling Author / Comedian / Investor urges Vikster to be a Monkey, not a Monk

A high-flying, high-stakes writer-gone-rich recently took time away from the Mile High Club to meet Vikster for drinks. He give Vikster a signed copy of his best selling book and lashed out the following pep talk in response to the controversy (including threats of police action, harassment of Vikster's family members, and accusations of racism) generated by this article. Read the original story and the author's response, a double page spread in the Bangkok Post Newspaper's Guru Magazine.

Wow! Its like just landing from a Time Machine!

Kushwant Singh or Russell Peters didnt happen? The Kumars shifted from No. 42 to .. what? 32? What are you saying: Mind Your Language didnt mind but Kruengthep does? It Aint Half Hot Mom became a cold Bhaji? Pinch me, somebody! What a bizaaare correspondence!! Am I in now back in The Punjabi Enclave That Time Forgot ! (-- Remind me, someone, not to throw a coke can out of my aeroplane over Sukhumvit!).

Hey, whats going on here? A jokester stands up to make you laugh and you want to PILLORY him? Are we in the F*&%$ MIDDLE ages? You're mad at the guy cause he talks about HAIR and hair OIL? Arranged marriages? About Indian television? THIS is what makes you hot under the turban? (Whats coming next: a sloganfest in BKPost or a demonstration in Siam Square?) .

Who exactly are you worried about? Are you worried about what fellow-Thais (liberal minded folks who publish your rantings, even!) will think of you? Is it the Khaik next door? Who is THAT worried about your false and overblown 'dignity', oye Thai-Punjabi? Are you worried about looking at wonky mirror at the fairground? You, Oy Punjabi? You who come from a land of warriors, of laughter, of danciing drums that churns the blood and and a fertile earth that could and often does feed most of the rest of India? Oyee Ballaaaaay!

Some guy makes our funny foibles interesting enough to appear in the 'mainstream' media and you castigate him instead of breaking out the laddoos (with varak, if you please!)? Listen, I know that some of our forefathers in India and those of the colonial diaspora had to remain self-effacing and scurry about sometimes instead of walking Punjabi-tall.. and that false humility was woven into our genes (soffly soffly catchee dollah, Heyah?). Ok... Okay!!

But hey, hallelujah! Gather round, fellow Punjabis, I have good news for you: We dont have to stay under the radar ANY MORE ---- because (with Indian minds and in Indian factories!) we MAKE the f&^$@ radar now, capish??!!

Listen: (Make Notes, please!): News Flash:The colonial overlords all went home, all over the world, quite a few decades ago! ( Presumably for a spot of tea and kippers.)

Yippee! Spread the word (Are you noting this down?): We are free! Muang Thai, baaaby! We can be who we are or want to be! Our poets are free to write our songs in hip hop and bhangra if they choose to! We are free to make faces, pinch our cheeks and pigtails! Free to get rich beyond the dreams of avarice! Our jesters are free to laugh at ourselves and the world! Wheeeeeee!

And the only folks we -- certainly I do!-- have to be afraid of henceforth is YOU lathi-weilding Little-Endians who are trying trying to scalp this Vikster who dares to hold up a funny looking egg to your face in jest and in laughter!

Yo, dudes! Dont chuck juttis at the Vikster ... Chuck marigolds, chuck jasmine, chuck barfees... oye, bhappa, CHUCK DE!

Quick, someone PUHLEEZE build a statue to this Vikster guy for LIVING in Thailand where I have chosen to re-settle just recently....may he stay here forever and continue to amuse me! AND puhleeze dont forget to build another one for his editor --- who had the testicular fortitude to put a double page spread to air this discussion!

The Vikster is good, because his voice is true and funny. Naturally, it resonates with the young. Young who have a past, sure, but also a future! Tradidition should not be a weight that bows you down but the wind beneat your wings, and a song that sets you free!

And so my message to the Vikster today is: DONT STOP THE FUN! DONT DILUTE! And most importantly: DONT LET THE TURKEYS TAKE THE SONG AND THE LAUGHTER OUT OF YOUR VOICE!

And so also, I say unto you Little-Endians, re-read Swift, and laugh at yourselves and the world, with The Vikster.

Laughter is where life truly lives.

And enjoy your uniqueness, oye Punjabi! In dull, drab world: flaunt it, write it, sing it, dance it, CELEBRATE it!

If you truly love your culture, that is what will make it grow, evolve, survive!